I must be too annoying 4 u.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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