he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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