these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Farmville is her only friend.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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