Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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