I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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