People in love make me want to vomit
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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