the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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