Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
