Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I love you.
Bad choice
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
