If i come over, it means nothing
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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