your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
