I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So much Jack, so little girl.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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