I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
