I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think your dad took our porno
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
