You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize