You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
