If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize