I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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