I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
