My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
