You're completely useless in the revolution.
I want to have your abortion
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize