my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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