She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
