he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
