i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
