i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
