Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
