yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
