If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize