Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
