Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
