I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize