i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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