Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
