Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
