I could make wine with my vomit
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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