Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I deserve this hangover.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
