Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
