my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
