I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
