So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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