I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
