dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
