WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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