I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
