If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
