btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
