There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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