I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
