brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
