I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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