spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
