Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
