Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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