Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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