So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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