I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
the liver wants what the liver wants
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
