i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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