I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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